Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Must Do Better

I've let it slide, I've let it slip, I've let myself go.

This blog is dustier than Miss Havisham's gaff, and I feel I ought to do something about it. Shall I get my cloistered adoptive daughter to snare the unsuspecting heart of a callow youth? Nah. I have a few other ideas for jazzing the place up. Fairylights? Massive Flash plug-ins? Maybe not.

I'm thinking some snippets of writing, perhaps a serialised story of some kind. Some entertainment to repay people the compliment of passing through here. I might also try my hand at the mancandy thing, though I have to warn you my idea of mancandy is probably not the same as yours. In fact, I tend to prefer manbrandy. Man70%cocoasolids. Manfinecubancigar. Even, to my utter shame, manpotnoodle. 'The Slag of All Snacks', as the baffling ad campaign used to say.

Anyway, I'm wittering. I'm a bit excited because On Demand is with a copy editor, which means it didn't get the thumbs down and will, yes, WILL be on the shelves in December.

It really is a sizzler! Not sure about the nutritional value though.

Thursday, 7 May 2009


I am in a book - a proper book that is on the shelves of proper booksellers from today in the UK.

That would be crazy enough in its own right, but just LOOK at the other names in this selfsame book:

Janine Ashbless ; ADR Forte ; Primula Bond ; Charlotte Stein ; Alison Tyler ; Kristina Wright ; KD Grace ; Sommer Marsden ; Carrie Williams ; Mae Nixon ; Portia Da Costa

Almost too much awesomeness there to contemplate in one sitting! Plus me.

My story is called Advanced Corsetry and it's damn kinky. This excerpt will give you a flavour:

‘I will need to take additional measurements.’
‘As you wish.’
I stood directly in front of my subject, unwinding the tape measure very quickly so she could hear the light swish of it, such an efficient sound.
‘Your nipples first, I think. Are they quite hard enough?’
I turned to her husband. ‘Perhaps they need to be a little harder,’ he agreed.
The pad of my thumb described a light circle over both tips until her chest began to buck and heave a little. I applied my finishing touch – a firm pinch to each – then wound my tape around the pair, pulling it as hard as I could get away with, looking for a grimace or, better, a sound. I got the grimace; the sound did not come.
‘Small but not too small,’ I noted. ‘There will be a standardised size of clamps for them.’
‘Oh, I’m aware of that.’
‘Now to the matter of the rings. What size of penetrative object were you considering?’
‘Big enough to be noticeable. If you could perhaps measure both holes and then order rings for perhaps half a centimetre larger all round. She will need to be stretched a little.’
‘I understand. Well, shall we start down here? I think, my dear, I will need you to bend over. Could you put your hands on that footstool just there and spread your legs as much as you can. That’s…just the job, dear.’
The whole spread was wide open and willing, from the swollen ruby of her clitoris to the brown bud peeking at me from between her cheeks. I felt like a gourmet at a feast, unsure of which dish to sample first.
I started at the top, or rather, the bottom.
‘Perhaps if you use your fingers? To get an idea of what she can comfortably take?’
I acceded to her husband’s request, snapping on a pair of thin latex gloves, and took a jar of lubricant he had produced from his trouser pocket. I smeared it liberally around the entrance of her pucker, greasing it up and pressing my thumb against the ring. ‘Don’t clench.’
My gloved index finger snaked slowly and surprisingly easily beyond her sphincter. I twisted it around in there for a minute until she began to squirm, then introduced a second finger. She began to whimper a little, so I went for the third, ramming them up as far as I could repeatedly and pressing down on her little red mark with my other hand. ‘Yes,’ I said, now having to work at controlling my own breathing. ‘If I measure the width of these three fingers, that should be sufficient.’
I took off the glove and wound the tape around my fingers, enjoying the residual warmth from the invasion of her most private space. I thought about putting a fresh pair of gloves on for the next part of my measuring mission, but the prospect of all that hot, wet, yielding flesh against mine was too much to resist.
One finger was sucked into the tight, slick cave of her cunt; two were better, scissoring and prodding at the sides, feeling for the bump of her g-spot, finding it and rubbing it. And then, yes, she definitely moaned; her walls quivered, and I added a third finger. I could feel the suction; she was pulling me in and I was tempted to stay, but I realised that this was not on today’s agenda, so I pulled out with a luscious squelch and added the figures to the list.
‘She’s extremely receptive,’ I remarked to her husband.
‘She’s a slut,’ he said, and the smallest of sighs escaped his wife’s lips.

It isn't available outside the UK until June 23rd, but I believe The Book Depository offers a discount PLUS free worldwide shipping if you can't wait that long ;).