How Rude!

I think most erotica writers would agree that more sites devoted to the discussion and review of the genre would be welcomed with open legs, um, arms - so I was very pleased to note the arrival on the scene of Rude Words. In fact, I was so pleased that I, along with a number of luminaries, did an interview with them, which can be read here.

My favourite nugget from the site so far comes from Donna George Storey, whose favourite piece of writing advice is to bear in mind at all times that 'it's just for me, it's just for fun!' This is my mantra too - wise words.

Please do check it out and give Sally and the other Rude Wordsters your support - I hope this site will be successful and popular.

When a Man is Tired of London...

I've always been with Dr Johnson on the subject of London - his full quotation speaks a lot of sense to me: "Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford."
— Samuel Johnson

So I was immediately captivated when Maxim Jakubowski put out a call for erotica submissions which must feature the city as an integral part of the story. I don't live in London any more (nothing to do with being tired of it either!) but I do recall my revved-up, heightened state of existence while I was there. I felt like part of something much bigger, and my own pulse tried to keep up with the manic beat of city life accordingly. I did things in London that I would never do here, and my story in Sex in the City: London reflects that.

It is called Thames Link, and is slightly based on true events - so there's a teaser for you! I explain a little more fully in the 'About' piece afterwards, which is one of my favourite aspects of the book. Each story is extended by a little explanatory note at the end, in which the author describes their relationship with London; I was fascinated to read these yesterday, and I hope you will be too!

Here is a taster from my story:

My throat was dry and tight; I hadn’t eaten all day and I needed a shower. Perhaps, I thought, I should go home. I turned back, looking unseeingly into the window of the junk shop over the road from the pub. A reflection loomed behind me, quicker than I could respond to, and then there were hands over my bare elbows, clammy hands, and hot breath in my ear.

‘Where do you think you’re going? I hope you weren’t thinking of standing me up.’

His voice, thick and greedy, pretending to be jokey but with a deadly serious undertow.

‘I’m…not sure,’ I confessed weakly. Now I was in his clutches. In his clutches. I liked the phrase. I liked the idea. But would I like the reality?

‘I am,’ he said, dripping his poisoned honey into my ear. ‘I’m sure. I knew you’d come.’

‘You couldn’t know that.’

‘I could. Come on, I’ve bought you a drink.’

There was nowhere to sit, so we leaned against the wall. He picked up a glass for me from the pavement – white wine, though I’d have preferred mineral water under the circumstances. All the same, I took a gulp, grateful for anything wet. He watched me over the rim of his pint glass, just as he had done that morning over the newspaper.

‘I like your dress,’ he said, and he leered. A true and unmistakable leer. Behind his eyes, his mind was stripping it off me and pushing me down on the church steps before pounding into me, right here, right now, in front of everyone.

It seemed wrong, somehow, to say ‘Thanks,’ in response, but I did it anyway.

‘Thank you for wearing it,’ he said, with a catch of something in the back of his throat. For a split second, he sounded self-conscious and it was such a relief. Oh, was he human after all? But then I realised it was laughter. He turned quickly to face me, his eyes vivid, skittering from side to side. ‘And thanks for coming.’

‘You knew I would come,’ I pointed out, somewhat sulkily.

‘Oh yes. But thanks anyway.’

‘So come on. How did you know? You worked it out by the power of your stare? Are you some kind of Sherlock Holmes character, and you’re going to tell me what I had for breakfast and the name of my childhood pet?’

He snuffled a bit and moved the toe of his boot closer to my strappy sandal, so that they touched. ‘No, nothing like that. Just applied a bit of psychology.’

‘What? Explain?’

‘Very curious, aren’t you?’ He smiled slyly.

‘What…do you mean?’

‘I’ve given you your answer. And that’s all I’m saying.’

‘You…’ I was beginning to feel seriously outmanoeuvred. Even more so when he took the glass from my hand and put it on the wall next to him.

‘But I’m very glad you came.’ He took my hand and grazed my knuckles with his lips and whiskery chin. ‘Like I said, you’re gorgeous. My favourite kind of gorgeous. Filthy gorgeous.’ He flicked out his tongue and licked a knuckle. I tried to draw my hand back, but he was too quick, pulling me closer to him and whipping an arm around my waist. His hand patted my hip while he continued to say weird and creepy things to me. I could have disengaged, I could have looked around for help from the crowds of evening drinkers, I could have told him to fuck off.

I didn’t.

But there are many sophisticated and sexy London libertines contributing to this volume, and several write outside the erotica genre as well as within it - you will also find stories by: Matt Thorne; Francis Ann Kerr; Valerie Grey; NJ Streitberger; Kristina Lloyd; Lily Harlem; Maxim Jakubowski; Elizabeth Coldwell; Clarice Clique; Carrie Williams; and Kevin Mullins & Marcelle Perks. Shell out a few bob and have a butchers, guv'nor - it's available now!

Falsehoods

OK, I've been tagged again (I really am a menace to society, aren't I? not even an ASBO, just straight to tagging) so I have a copy of On Demand to give away to anybody who can correctly guess which two of the following statements are TRUE.

1. I was born in the back of a travelling van.

2. I can play the trombone to Grade 8 standard.

3. I've been in the Blue Peter garden.

4. I hate bananas with a passion.

5. I spent one summer working in a chocolate factory.

6. I can swear in Swahili.

7. I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see.


???

Read an Ebook week

Or is it 'eBook'? Like eBay? Or should there by a hyphen or something? I'm really not sure.

Never mind my syntactical ponderings - just read one. Preferably this one, which is free from e-Xcite right now!

Go here for ordering details, and enjoy your free read.

World Book Day

In honour of the occasion, I have something cerebral and high-minded for you.

Except I don't. What I do have, courtesy of being tagged by the amazing Charlotte Stein, is the Book Boyfriend Meme! So much more fun!

Here is the gen:

We all have our favorite book boyfriends and now you have the chance to create one just for yourself and your fantasies! How do you play? Fill out the quiz below, post a picture of sexy men and tag five (5) other book addicts to do the same. Don't forget to pop to their blogs and let them know they have been tagged! Once tagged... you have to do the same, grab the button, answer the questions, and keep it rolling! But don't forget the picture of the sexy man! It doesn't have to match your fantasy man, just a little eye candy for the rest of us... heheheee!

.

1) Hair Style and Colour

These days, my tastes are catholic. Which is not to say that I favour a tonsure - no way! But I have moved on from my youthful insistence on flowing Byronic locks and now I prefer a look that is luxuriant but controlled. They can be blond, red, brown, black, preferably natural but not completely necessarily. Facial hair is fine so long as Father Christmas is not the look being modelled - for an exemplar of how to do it, look no further than the Sheriff of Nottingham:

Serious barnet, dude! Plus extra bonus points for the scar. And the blackness. And the relentless evil. In fact, the Sheriff wins at just about everything.

2) Eye Colour and Facial Features

Here is my face specification:

Forehead - high
Cheekbones - sharp
Lips - lush
Nose - the bigger the better (I'm thinking Rickman again, rather than Cyrano de Bergerac - I mean, it shouldn't have its own postcode)
Eyes - any colour, but they have to be able to look at you like THIS -->

Neck like a swan too...le sigh...

3) Height and Body Type

Cliche alert, but yes, tall. And thin like Jarvis Cocker, or broad-but-not-too-broad like Richard Armitage. Or both. Heh.

4) Visible Age

Oh hell, I don't care. Over 25. I think Aidan Turner is my youngest little ogle-sponge:

He is 26. My oldest, at nearly 200, is Franz Liszt, though I'm not generally speaking a necrophiliac.

5) Bangability - i.e. kinky/bi/size

Big, bad and bristling with shocking perversions.

6) Human or other

I'm a little bit conservative about this. He really does have to be human. Or a Time Lord.

7) Paranormal skills

Nah, not necessary. Mind reading would be terrible. I would have to become a nun.

8) Interests

World domination; physics & really brainy sciencey stuff; music; the Romantic poets etc.

9) Habitat

Somewhere not far from me, with any luck. I seem to be going through a phase of having heroes with massive flats in London though - so maybe that.

10) Special Skills

Seduction, deviancy, insatiability, a really evil laugh, a really dirty mind, oh, and I forgot NICE HANDS! Totally essential.


Sounds like your average Joe, doesn't he?

I'm not sure about tagging people - I don't feel as if I'm au fait with the etiquette of it. But if anyone wants to do this meme, just go right ahead. Comment with a link if you're going to do it, so I can come and give your pictures a scholarly assessment, if y'know what I mean.

Happy World Book Day!

Elves and Masons

Dispelling a little of the gloom engendered by my previous post, I find today that On Demand now has THREE lovely five star reviews up on amazon.com - despite being unavailable in the US. Now that's the power of the internet for you!

So I'd like to thank the fabulous Mason Mason (great name!) and the eloquent Erotic Elf for their very kind words - it's really brought the smile back to my scowling mug today. The link to those reviews, and the amazon page they are on is here, if you fancy a read.

Your very good Elf!