Camp

I'm tuning up my acoustic guitar and practising my drippy voice for a few days under canvas.

Camping, apparently, is 'sexy' these days - let's see how erotically charged it can be to wear twenty pairs of socks to bed, shall we?

Though Morrissey did write the lines: 'Were you and he lovers/ And if you were, then say that you were/ On a groundsheet under canvas/ With your tent flap open wide' - which is at least making an effort. Tent flaps at the ready!

While I'm away, don't forget that the Misbehaviour anthology, featuring my story Office Sex, releases in the UK on September 3rd. I'll be back with more on that, plus a teaser, at the weekend.

Hi-de-hi.